The Identity Question
Recently, I’ve been reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. In one part, he explains the difference between outcome and identity based habits. Outcome based habits focus on the outcome you’re trying to accomplish and identity based habits focus on who you wish to become.
I paused to think about my own habits. I have now a few habits that are identity based while habits in the past have mostly been outcome based habits — only committing to the habit until I achieve the outcome and then dropping it. Clear’s way of thinking about habits changed my approach as I decided to make more of a conscious effort to create identity based habits.
Before I could focus on creating habits for my future self, I was curious as to how I identified myself today. This question came up a few years back in college and I never truly believed my answer. Mostly because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to live up to my own expectations.
This time was different. I answered the question calmly without any internal fight. How do I identify myself? The answer is multilayered as I saw myself as an athlete, thinker, spiritual, learner, curious, emphatic, kind, compassionate, loving to name a few.
This internal conversation was a reminder of my true nature that gets lost by the roller coaster of life. You realize how much of our identity has been shaped by friends, family, circumstances, environment, and many others. More importantly, there is no “right” or “wrong” answer to how you should identify yourself. There’s just you and your identity.
It’s only when you stop and sit by yourself do you find the real answer to this question. Then life gets simpler not necessarily easier. You see opportunities in a perspective of whether it aligns with any of your identity buckets. Quick and easy way to choose your activities. Now that’s not to say your identity will be static. It will be dynamic and change in various ways as life goes on. The more you realign with it the simpler life will be.
How do you identify yourself?